Recovering and moving on

What a better day to post this than on Sunday.   Even though we are not worshiping today with our Hope Christian Church family, we know they are with us in spirit.  We truly have been encouraged and glad to have so many people praying for us and lifting us up.   I (Shannon) do understand now why over the last week or more there have been many promptings from God through devotions about forgiveness.  Little did I know that this first round of heading to adopt our first child would end in loss and that eventually forgiveness would be needed.  Are we instantly forgiving people and being completely understanding right now??  No that is not the case.   As has been pointed out to us by so many family and friends we are going to go through the stages of grief as in loosing someone physically.   We definitely fell in love with that baby girl and loved her instantly as any parent would.  Now we must pray she will be taken care of and loved.   We must accept that we will not parent her and that God had us there for another reason.   We will get back on the horse and God will guide us to the next opportunity for adoption and/or birth of a child to begin our family.  We are thankful for having a deepening faith to move on otherwise in these stages of grief we could ge stuck in a pit.  That WILL not happen and I ask for continued prayer in healing for Emily and I.

In Christ's love,
Shannon and Emily

Grieving loss

We were informed recently that the birth mother has decided to try and parent.  We are grieving this loss and determining next steps.  Will likely cancel our hotel and get back on the road tomorrow just not sure where yet.  Please keep us in your prayers as we are fighting back anger and a lot of other emotions.

Patiently waiting

We continue to wait...we spoke with our social workers today, the thing that now seems to be holding up the signing is something no one has control over. We have agreed that we will sign a visitation agreement, however it cannot be held up in a court of law. The birth mother didn't realize that and is struggling with the thought that we may leave with baby Hope and not keep our word. It boils down to trust. She has to trust that we will be the same people once we leave that we are right now. As frustrating as that is it's understandable. The only thing we can do is continue to reach out to her and show her we are the same people and that won't change once we leave. All  we can do right now is pray and wait. It will be extremely hard waiting again in limbo over the weekend. The social workers were encouraging in that never once in all this delaying has the birth mother expressed a desire to parent the baby. 

Adoption update 8-9

Update on adoption.   Thank you for the flow of prayers as every time we go to a feeding with baby Hope we experience the peace and calm of Jesus being with her, seeing her get better, and grow.

Where our struggle comes in is signing over rights from the birth parents to us for custody at discharge.  We are continually waiting and trying to communicate with the birth mother and adoption agency.   Prayers need to also be for the birth mother as she is struggling to sign consent and getting a hold of the birth father.   She did get some conversations in with the attorney and social workers today.   However, we keep going into the next day with empty promises, no consent signed, and patience wearing thin.  

Mountain moving prayer

We need moutain moving prayers today.   Last night was an extremely emotional night and for the first time we feel there is a chance we may not come home with baby Hope.  Pray that God will move mountains today and that we will have some peace and clarity.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

Shannon and Emily

A video of her first night in NICU

Here is a video of the first night after Hope's birth when she was in NICU.  She was hooked up to a CPAP breathing machine to help provide a little pressure for her oxygen levels.   She went from a CPAP to a smaller tube to just provide a little help.  She has been off both now and getting plenty of oxygen on her own. She has been eating from a bottle for over a day and doing really well.   Her CRP levels (C-Reactive Protein = indicator of possible infection) are lower than they were last night.  The levels are not at the 0.2 they need to be but moving in the right direction.  So she still has one IV for antibiotic.   I will add newer videos when time permits to show what awesome improvement she's been making and what a little fighter she is!

We are praying that adoption paperwork will be signed today by both parties but have not heard yet.  We are very much taking it day by day and loving every minute we get to spend with Hope feeding and caring for her.  The nurses in the NICU have been AWESOME in taking care of her and us for that matter.  Please continue to pray for the adoption paperwork and also for the birth mom and all parties involved.

Hospital and adoption paperwork

Hope is doing very well.  She has taken a bottle every time today and after some work took full bottles the rest of her feedings.   A couple of them she was falling asleep on us but eventually she ate it all.  We are going to a 4 hour schedule instead of 3 hours with her taking full bottles and she is off the nourishment IV now for electrolytes.   (So the gatorade IV.. ha ha ha..)  She is on an IV yet for an antibiotic as she shows levels yet of some protien that tells the doctors she might be fighting an infection and they are trying to prevent it.  We are hoping that will be better tomorrow to be taken off the antibiotic IV.   So other than the antibiotic she is getting full oxygenization and breathing well on her own.  Her color is very good and eating well.   She's even had some loud diaper fills while feeding her which have been hilarious... and no dad did not teach her that.  :)

Now for an update on us and the birth parents.   It has been a stressful and emotional day for all.  We ask for continued prayers in this area as we continue to praise Jesus for the wonderful physical improvement of baby Hope.  The adoption paper work has not been signed yet.  The hospital paperwork has been signed to discharge the baby with us but we really need things to move forward on the adoption paperwork.   We had some time together today with the birth mother.  It is understandable that it is taking some time with all the emotions and we have been building a good friendship with the birth mother.   After speaking with her and a friend tonight, she appears to be getting to a better place in the adoption process. 

Thank you so much for the continued prayers and support!
Shannon and Emily

She has arrived

Hope has arrived!!   Our baby girl was born yesterday evening August 4th at 8:22 pm Eastern time.  She was 6lbs 5oz and 19 1/2 inches long.   Birth mom, mom, and baby are all doing well.  Yesterday was a challenge for everyone involved.   She was induced starting Friday late evening and took most of the day Saturday to dialate and deliver.

Hope had the cord wrapped around her neck tight.  She was not getting enough oxygen on her own and so went into NICU right after delivery.  She also had some fluid on her lungs.  As of tonight though almost 24 hours later she is doing so much better!!  She is breathing on her own now at a normal rate and getting plenty of oxygen saturation.

We got to meet the birth mother's mom today.   Our relationship with Hope's birth mom is turning into a great friendship and we will be getting to know her more even when we leave the area.  We still do not have custody and it will likely be Tuesday before paperwork is signed.  Please continue to pray for the families involved and decisions that will be made after this and the legal paperwork involved. 

Love you all,
Shannon, Emily, and Hope